Family ...

Family stresses me out. Maybe it's my overthinking tendencies, but my goodness! How can I not?

I spent the night with a bunch of cousins who I don't see that often. It was also the first time I saw any of them since my mom died. It's hard not to walk into this restaurant and wonder what they are thinking. It's also hard to wonder why I choose to go to these events. It's hard to sit there and clearly not be part of the conversation with these moms. They all have kids within months of each other. They were all married with a year or so of one another.

I went out to meet a relative visiting from South America. She was lovely. However, when it came time to talk to me. I froze up. I don't know why.

Actually I do. I always feel inferior around these relatives. Despite the fact that I am an attorney. Despite my life experiences. Despite my grades in school. Despite it all, I feel like I don't compare. Why the hell do I let them get to me in this way?

Is it because I'm not married? Is it because I don't have the same interests? Is it because I never actually hung out with them? I don't know. But once a year or so I get invited to these dinners and I go. I go because I want to be included. Or part of their clique. Or so I think before I go. And usually as I go through the doors I start to get a constriction in my throat and regret my decision. I have a fine time throughout the evening. And I did last night.

But I find myself amused by certain things. Like when I was asked if I was born 1982. Or when someone remembered how big a fan of Hugh Grant I was. Or when I kept being referred to as the smart one.

I mean, really? Do they just not have anything to talk about with me?

But I go. The evening is behind me. And now I can put it behind me. Follow everyone on facebook and wait until the next one in a year.

I remembered #10

I remembered my #10 from my last post. I had forgotten about it because since going gluten free, I simply had to remove it from my vocabulary. But here it is.

10. Malt vinegar. I miss malt vinegar. I miss going to a pub, ordering fries, dousing them in salt and malt vinegar and having a beer.

I remembered today since I was at Vaughn's eating the Glenkerry Potatoes and saw the malt vinegar on the table. It made me momentarily sad. But the Glenkerry Potatoes are absolutely amazing. I can eat those. They don't need malt vinegar on them.

10 THINGS I MISS MOST SINCE GOING GLUTEN FREE

It's been a year and 12 days since I received my official celiac disease diagnosis. While it's been difficult and I'm still trying to figure out what I can eat and not eat and what exactly is still bothering me (bye bye soy milk), I would never want to go back. Here is what I wrote then.

And most of it holds true. I think I have a fairly good attitude about it. Usually. Oh I whine. Oh I make a point of pointing out how difficult it is for me. But for the most part I try to be upbeat about it. So I have to order really differently at restaurants. And maybe it's not the easiest to visit someone (who is not already living a gluten free life). But if giving up gluten means I won't have horrible stomach pains anymore and I stand a better chance of not having the massive health issues my entirely family appears to be plagued with, then adios gluten.

BUT, there are 10 things I miss since starting this lifestyle.

1. Italian bakeries. Bye bye sfogliatelle, pasticiotti, and cannolis. I did however learn to make gluten free pizzelles this weekend. See for yourself.
2. Being able to run out to the local cafe and order a sandwich.
   
3. Not having to call every restaurant before heading out to see what they're gluten free options are.
   
4. A good loaf of fresh baked bread. I'm still trying to make this happen.
5. Having a beer at a sporting event. The sangria just isn't the same.
6. Pretzels. (But when in the city and in need of a quick snack, cashews are a good substitution.)
7. Going out for pizza.
8. Not having to worry about cross-contamination.
9. Cornmeal bagels from that place in Elmwood.
   
10. Um... Honestly. I can't actually come up with a tenth. And really #9 was sort of a stretch.
    

I do miss these things. But again, I will eventually adjust. Or figure out how to make an excellent gluten free option. Not just a "decent" gluten free option. Seriously, can anyone make gluten free phyllo dough?

water plus sun equal good saturday

IMG_0295, originally uploaded by laliaberry.

I spent saturday doing some things that needed to be done in the house followed by an afternoon/evening at the shore.

It was a day capped off with an hour or more ride on my brother's boat where we got to catch the sunset as we rode back to the marina. Stupidly, I didn't bring my camera around for the fun, but did have my iPhone. It amazes me how great the iPhone photo quality is. I mean, it's a phone - and that's the shot. Imagine what my Canon Rebel could have done.

See some other iPhone snaps here.