connotation

Clearly, I am not writing what I should be writing now. I am setting to work on a project. I wrote four pages. And now I sit here with this old blog.

But the music on my playlist just made me internally crack up. This is the song.


Why did I crack up?

Well, a few weeks back I saw Ingrid Michaelson at Toad's Place. I have probably not been that drunk in years. And probably won't be that drunk again for a few more years. I acted a tad like a "woo girl." I was a woo girl that night. Oh. My. God. I'm ashamed.

And yet I'm not. It's not like I was randomly yelling to catch a man's eye. (Because, really, let's be honest - what straight, single guy is at an Ingrid Michaelson show??) But I was drunk. And I was being loud. And I may have grabbed a drink that did not belong to me. I also apparently forgot I went to the bathroom at one point. I also was convinced I'd fall off the bench I was standing on. My phone has suffered a tad since. There are dents that were not there before.

But I'm not ashamed.

I was so happy to have that release that night. It had been a shitty couple days. There was a breakdown with someone close to me. I started to doubt my own instincts as well as my recent decisions in life. Things were at such a strange and frantic place (well, they still are. but I am hoping we are entering a slowing down.)

I needed that night.

As the next few weeks progress I might need a few nights like that. Just, likely, not to that degree.

But for now whenever I hear Ingrid Michaelson, I go back to that night. And fight the compulsion to yell "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"